Do you love me enough to hurt me?

This past few months have been pretty hard for me. Not only being sick as hell with something that i didn't find out until recently what it was, and learning to deal with my children while being already physically exhausted. i have recently learned that i from somewhere picked up giardia. Which while isn't terminal or anything, is still pretty life altering. especially when you have had it for eight plus months.

Anyway, lately i have been in such a hole, that thoughts of my death were actually pretty vivid. And thankfully being the masochist that i am, when i get into these moods, the best way that i know how to cope, is through pain.

When i was younger i was an extensive cutter... blaming my scrapes on the bryers that i would encounter in the woods where i lived. The pain that i feel when i am in my darkest hours, frees me, and brings me to the light. And last night was no exception. While i was driving home, i sent Sir a text that read:"Sir if it's possible i need you tonight..." And this is the result of that need.

Monday May 10, 2009

Sir has been toying with the idea, of letting His darker side show. Which i am all for. It brings U/us closer together, and lets U/us share something so intimate. And W/we have been playing with biting for some time. And just recently discovered that Sir gets extremely excitable when my teeth sink into His flesh. And i am quite the sucker (no pun intended) when He sinks His own teeth into my neck.

When i first saw this pic, i was dissapointed. W/we wern't anywhere near finished at this point, and i have had more severe pics then this.

This one however, i could appreciate more. you can see the indivual cane marks. At this point i was so far into my sub-space, that everytime the ratan met my skin, my entire body shook with absolute pleasure. i have never been so close to having an orgasm, with spanking being my own stimulation.

Then came trusty Red... i do not rememember how long any of this lasted, or how many of anything that i recieved. All i knew was i was getting higher and higher with every blow to my already red, sore bottom.

Right after that we took a small break like we usually do, just to reafirm that we love each other, and that Sir is proud of me. Also at this point he will usually ask what i want. At this point i told him that i did not know. And he held me and told me that he loved me. and i looked up at him, with tears in my eyes and asked "Do you love me enough to hurt me?"

And then the real beating began... i didn't think until after the fact what the neighbors were thinking hearing very loud slapping sounds followed by yelping, and loud crying... i often wonder what i would say if i were confronted by the law... it matters not.

"Property of The Big Bad" As you can see, the final resault was brutal. Even as i right i can still feel the burn from last night... And it tells me that no matter what i go through, no matter who has wronged me, Sir will always be there to be my saving grace...

i love you Sir, with every atom of my being... i would be nothing without you...