Do you love me enough to hurt me?

This past few months have been pretty hard for me. Not only being sick as hell with something that i didn't find out until recently what it was, and learning to deal with my children while being already physically exhausted. i have recently learned that i from somewhere picked up giardia. Which while isn't terminal or anything, is still pretty life altering. especially when you have had it for eight plus months.

Anyway, lately i have been in such a hole, that thoughts of my death were actually pretty vivid. And thankfully being the masochist that i am, when i get into these moods, the best way that i know how to cope, is through pain.

When i was younger i was an extensive cutter... blaming my scrapes on the bryers that i would encounter in the woods where i lived. The pain that i feel when i am in my darkest hours, frees me, and brings me to the light. And last night was no exception. While i was driving home, i sent Sir a text that read:"Sir if it's possible i need you tonight..." And this is the result of that need.

Monday May 10, 2009

Sir has been toying with the idea, of letting His darker side show. Which i am all for. It brings U/us closer together, and lets U/us share something so intimate. And W/we have been playing with biting for some time. And just recently discovered that Sir gets extremely excitable when my teeth sink into His flesh. And i am quite the sucker (no pun intended) when He sinks His own teeth into my neck.

When i first saw this pic, i was dissapointed. W/we wern't anywhere near finished at this point, and i have had more severe pics then this.

This one however, i could appreciate more. you can see the indivual cane marks. At this point i was so far into my sub-space, that everytime the ratan met my skin, my entire body shook with absolute pleasure. i have never been so close to having an orgasm, with spanking being my own stimulation.

Then came trusty Red... i do not rememember how long any of this lasted, or how many of anything that i recieved. All i knew was i was getting higher and higher with every blow to my already red, sore bottom.

Right after that we took a small break like we usually do, just to reafirm that we love each other, and that Sir is proud of me. Also at this point he will usually ask what i want. At this point i told him that i did not know. And he held me and told me that he loved me. and i looked up at him, with tears in my eyes and asked "Do you love me enough to hurt me?"

And then the real beating began... i didn't think until after the fact what the neighbors were thinking hearing very loud slapping sounds followed by yelping, and loud crying... i often wonder what i would say if i were confronted by the law... it matters not.

"Property of The Big Bad" As you can see, the final resault was brutal. Even as i right i can still feel the burn from last night... And it tells me that no matter what i go through, no matter who has wronged me, Sir will always be there to be my saving grace...

i love you Sir, with every atom of my being... i would be nothing without you...

Thankfully Mr. T is the sharing type...

So i know again i haven't written in quite some time... And i'm not going to give you some bullshit story about how life is hectic, and busy as hell. It is end of story. But i am not here to complain about how hard life is. Quite the contrary. i am here to tell you about one of the few things in my life right now that are absolutely wonderful...



But i get ahead of myself... let me start at the beginning. A while back sometime in the summer, Sir and i went up to our old stomping ground before we had children to see some old friends. And coincidentilly ran into Mr. T. i was ever so happy to see him if only because i hadn't seen him for a while, and W/we both enjoy His company. Well when we started talking he mentioned that he had a girlfriend. And He was ABSOLUTELY smitten with this girl. i must admit i was a bit jealous, but was also happy that he had found somebody to make Him as happy as he seemed to be with her. He above many others deserves to be happy.



Anyway, i had been dieing to meet her (especially after he told me that she figured out that she was bi), and one night he called and said that she was going to be at His house. So Sir and i took a little trip, and went to meet her. i will call her bright eyes.



When i first walked in the door, and saw her gorgeous body, i was in absolute awe... Trying to keep myself together, because first impressions are everything. But upon meeting her, i knew i would like her right away... i had only hoped, because i didn't figure somebody with that beautiful a body would want anything to do with somebody that looks like me. And even still, it warms my heart to know that there are still people out there that aren't shallow, and can overlook certain aspects...



Well as time went on, i had invited them both down for my new years eve party. And down til the very last minute i was sure that they weren't coming at all. Just becuase she had been on a plane all day, and it was a two hour trip down here. But Mr. T. called me and said that they were on their way. Well my heart skipped a beat. i again had to tamp down my excitement. i had dreamed that they would come down, and i would get to taste that sweet pussy of hers... but again, i would have just been happy to be in her company again, to learn more about her... just to be given the chance to look at her face again.



Well as the night went on, the alcohol started flowing more readily. After midnight, a few of my party goers... ok well pretty much all of them decided that it was time to go to bed. All the lights were out, besides maybe my christmas tree, and Mr. T. and Bright eyes were making out in the living room. When i heard my name, and a "come take a look at this"



ohmygods!!! i got to touch her, to inhale her... to taste her. i felt like the Gods were smiling down on me that night to be able to admire such a beautiful woman, and show her how much i admired her. i had completely forgotten how much it felt good to be able to touch another woman. To kiss another womans lips. i hadn't realized how much i had missed it, until i was able to do it again.



i kissed, and sucked, and licked that delectable pussy until i had blisters on my lips. And was ready for more. And let me tell you that i being the person that i am, was QUITE satisfied being able to assist in pleasuring somebody that i think is WAAAY out of my league... But there was certainly more to come... Because until my bright eyes, i have never had another girl WANT to pleasure me in return... i mean i have had girls been demanded to go down on me, but it was never the same. And there will always be a special place for her in my heart just because she is the first, and only girl as of yet that is more then happy to return my favor.



At any rate, just recently She and i have been able to get together just Her and i, without the distraction of O/our significant, male counterparts. As much as W/we love them, there needed to be a time when there could be instruction, and learing without trying to be asthetically pleasing, and trying to get off at the same time. Because when Sirs are around, there are camaras everywhere, and as concious as i am with my body it is hard to keep myself beautiful (at the very least to myself) and concentrate on pleasing and being pleased...



Last friday, W/we got that opportunity. i got there about 11, and was sooooo nervous on my way over... i didn't know what She would be wearing, i didn't know how i would be greated... there was a lot of things that i just didn't know. But when i got there, she greated me with lots of hugs, and it was just very nice, very welcoming.



W/we sat on the floor in the living room, and watched some tv, and the next thing you know we were down to bras, and well panties for her, and skirt for me... (only because i don't normally wear panties.) The sheer joy that i get when O/our lips touch, when She keeps Her lips on mine for what feels like an eternity, is completely indescribable. The way Her skin trembles, and goosbumps underneath my fingertips, is something you think you would only dream about.



And again, me being me was expecting to give first and then recieve, however she got me off first, and then we both got hungry and decided that we were going to burger king. i was not expecting at all that i wasn't going to give Her what she readily deserved, and wanted right away, that i was going to "owe Her one" but none the less W/we were both starving.



When W/we got back though, clothes again came off in a hurry, and we teased Sirs a bit by sending them various pictures, and video messages via cell phone... And i again got to taste the honey between her soft pussy lips until Mr. T. got home from work... funny thing is when He got home He knocked on the door, and She and i were a bit busy on the floor... i wasn't getting up because i had my face buried in better then chocolate pussy, and she well... wasn't getting up for obvious reasons... hehehe And i am sure it took all His willpower not to just drop trou. right there and just fuck the shit out of Her. But He being the way that he is, was EXTREMELY understanding, even when we brought out the double ender, and were going at it that way like mad, he kept his composer. Which i am extremely grateful for... Because when we were riding that thing, pussies grinding against each other, it was a complete different level of pleasure that i have ever gotten. Not only was i fucking myself with the wonderful contraption, but being able to be fucking a gorgeous woman on the other end, while our pussies rubbed together, and being able to see the absolute pleasure in Her face was just such a turn on... it was absolutely amazing. And i can hardly wait to be able to do it again...



Thank you my dear Sirs for trusting the both of us enough to play together without supervision. Thank you Sir for letting me go in the first place, and thank you Mr. T for the ability to share the wonderful treasure that is your significant other...



Also thank you my bright eyes for feeling comfortable enough that i could come over, and share

an update a year long in the making...

Saturday January 3, 2009

So i know it has been quite a long time since i have posted anything, and i am sure my lurkers have all but given up on me... However Sir and i needed to take a hiatus, for the simple reason that W/we got pregnant. And since this was the first pregnancy after the loss of our second child, bondage, and spanking of any kind ceased all together. For the sake of myself, and my unborn child, we just didn't want to risk any of that.

However we had another beautiful baby girl. She weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces, and was 20 inches long. And is very healthy.

But on to the real reason that you are here. Sir and i have gotten back into "the swing" of things. There has been a few gentile spankings, and certainly none to document. But This new years eve Mr. T and his wonderful girlfriend came down for O/our New Years Eve party (also my birthday). It was her first time, to eat a girl's pussy. And i must admit, it didn't feel like she was a beginner... it felt sooooo amazing! i told her that she was the best birthday present i have ever gotten... And i was extremely flattered that she would want to have anything to do with me at all. Because i am not a small girl, and Sir enjoys it that way... you can't spank somebody with no ass it just doesn't give as satisfying a smack. But she has this absolutely amazing body, one that i thought i would only see in my dreams, or admire from a long distance. Had i her permission, i would post a picture, but for now you will just have to deal with mine.

So as i was saying, Sir and i have been trying to get back into the loving BDsm relationship that we are used to. And last night was the first real spanking since we found out that i was pregnant. And these were definitely photo worthy...

i was able to handle almost all of them. Until Sir got my thigh as hard as my bottom... i was in my sub-space, until then, and was enjoying my Cane.

i don't like to brag, but i am so pretty with tears in my eyes...

i absolutely love that you can see the individual cane marks. And i will have welts for the next few days.

i know Sir loves this picture as much as i do. There is just something about a beautiful round red ass, and a cane... mmmm