and after a few mishaps, we are back into action...

whew... it has been a long time since i have posted. But not because i didn't want to. Sir has pretty much gotten back to normal, and we could resume in the darker side of ourselves.

Thursday November 8 2007

i have no pictures for this occasion, because i had accidentally left the camara at my mom's house when we took pictures for halloween (man i hope none of my family tried to look at those...). Anyway. Sir had been feeling bad lately, so i figured that i would cheer him up some. i put on my new boots, and gloves, laid out all of the implements, made him a drink, and turned everything off in the house.

i went to the bedroom, lit three candles, and turned on some HIM, and kneeled on my pillow beside the bed to wait for him. i was not sure of his reaction when he walked in the door. But it felt like he thought that i was already in bed, and asleep. He was surprised to see me however holding out for Him, my collar. He took it from me, and smiled, and turned it around for me to kiss. i always do so with great passion. As i love the fact that i am owned. And after i kiss it he does the same, and i wait to be buckled in.

Sir proceeded to spank me with our various implements, and even a few new ones i decided would be fun to try. Like for example my vent brush. i liked the way it sounded in the air, and i liked the sting. (But Sir would prefer a wooden one, which i don't know how we are going to find.) And a ping-pong paddle. i liked the sound of that more than anything else. It had a really nice 'Crack' to it. But again not to Sir's liking.

So early the next morning, He bought me my cane!!! ^.^ i am extremely excited. Sir has spanked me with a dowel rod before, and then, i didn't like the thought of bruising. i think of them a bit differently now. It should be here tuesday...

So now we are up to date with all of that. On to the pictures!!!

Sunday november 11, 2007
If you have not guessed it already, i don't mind my dark side to show quite a bit. i consider myself a goth. This can lead to some pretty interesting things, both in, and out of the bedroom. And i had recieved a question a while back about if Sir let me wear panties. Well to answer your question, Sir lets me wear whatever i want. He likes my indivuality, along with my submission. In that respect, he wants no control over me, even though he knows he could have it if he wanted, and there are times that i do ask him what he wants me to wear when i am not certain.

This was my 'halloween costume'. i only say that because depending on what outfit i am wearing, i may put on the horns, just to see what kind of looks i get.

Tonights session was only a handspanking, due to the fact that my cane should be coming in shortly. i must admit, that Sir has progressed in using his hand then he used to be. And i love the color that He can make my bottom, just by his hands.

Aah, the boots picture. Sir has always had a big fascination with boots. He likes seeing them, almost as much as i love wearing them. And With the new rope bondage that we are learning by the two knotty boys book (http://www.twokottyboys.com/), the boots help the rope not dig in, and they look good too.

i absolutely love when Sir takes this pic. It is extremely symbolic to me. And the only reason He doesn't have his wedding band on, is because he gives it to me for safe keeping.

A better picture of my horns... *giggle* guess that makes me the horny one doesn't it?

i tried to smile for Him after we were finished, but i was a bit sore... but that is the way we like it...

And we have been put on hold...

So i know i have not posted anything in quite some time... it seems Sir and i have been put on a bit of a hiatus... even though i really wish we wouldn't be... The 28th of October, He was diagnosed with bell's palsy. It is an infection of the nerve, and the entire left side of his face was pretty much disabled. He had to wear an eye patch for a while, because he couldn't close his eye. So with that in mind, he really didnt' want to implement me, for my safety. Hopefully He will be up for it tonight... i haven't worn my collar for it's main purpose in more than a week... :-( Also we have all been sick, and that doesn't make for a good session either... "WAIT!!! I AM DROWNING IN MY OWN MUCUS!!!" not my idea of sexy... >.< so hopefully things will be up and running again shortly... i feel myself slipping away into depression without it...

i am beautiful masochism

i know it has been a few days... but as i have said before, i like to wait for two days spankings to post... so without any further adieu...

Thursday October 18, 2007

This session, was really more "for the fun of it" thank anything else... There was really nothing that i had on my mind that needed to be relieved... and sometimes i just need a spanking for the excitement of a spanking. Simple as that.

This night the session only lasted about half an hour. Just because it was not about tears, or the pain of it. Just to get me a little warm. There was added excitement, as we used a bit of light bondage. (Sir won't tell you, but he is horrible with rope. Which is why i have cuffs on my wishlist... )

As you can see, i am "bound to please" There is no greater feeling than knowing that Sir could leave me alone, bound and to my own devices. Which he did. He tied my hands, and feet to gether, and inserted my favorite vibrator, and LEFT THE ROOM!!! i smiled because i had mentioned this as a punishment for somebody else... and He turned it on me... He wasn't gone for long, but just the fact that he could have left me alone for hours... i felt so helpless... there was absolutely nothing that i could do... but it was very exciting.

CWL (collared with love) is what is written on my wrist. Earlier that day W/we had gone to see Sir's father for dinner. and my collar, as much as i love to wear it in public, is not appropriate for the in-laws to view. oh that rememinds me...

i really wish the general public would know a collar when they see one... it is not a 'necklace' it is not dainty, nor is it for decoration (even though it matches everything i own). It is there to prove ownership, and i wear it to please him... grrr... ok i am done...

Sunday, October 21 2007

This nights session was very severe, although only lasted for 45 minutes. i really needed a hard spanking this time, and i don't really understand why. i needed tears, and pain... i needed to HURT. i have been a little off lately, a little sad, a little scared...

This nights session, i recieved quite a hard spanking, even though the session only lasted 45 minutes. Thirty one with the belt, along with a very hard handspanking, and the crop. There are times that when i am being spanked, that is the only thing that is real to me, is that sting. That amongst all the black, for a moment there is a flash of red, that later becomes shades of bruise. The rest of the world could fall down around me, as long as i can feel that sting, i am invincible. i am ALIVE.

i love pictures like these... Sir's hand, over my warm red, bottom. He has started this thing, where He puts his wedding band on my finger so it doesn't get lost... which is why it isn't on His finger.

Sir also, when we are in the midst of the passion, that is an inevitability to follow my spankings, where he will scrape his finger nails over my welts and bruising, that just makes the experience so much more exhuburent.

i guess this session proved to me, that my masochism is not something that i can run away from. It isn't something that i can go to a shrink and talk about to make it go away. i can't bottle it up, and pretend that it doesn't exist. Am i an addict? i suppose i am. But the only way that i know to feel better. is to stoicly take a severe beating, and then be held by Sir, while i cry on his shoulder and he tells me that i am His good little girl. That i am so obediant, and He is so very proud of me, for growing like i have been, and taking what He gives me...

Thank you Sir, for all that You give me... i feel sometimes like i ask for too much, but you give it all to me... i love you... <3

Ok, so i usually wait for two session to post. But it has been a while since i posted anything of value. (well besides my major one *grin*) so i figured that i would post... happy viewing. ~tlm{TBB}

Monday October 15, 2007

i love presenting my collar for Him. i do it happily, and with love and respect. And i know i get the same in return. Before Sir puts it on, like many of the implements we use, He presents it to me to kiss. Even when i am home alone, and wear it around the house, i kiss it with as much love as if it were Sir himself. This is one of the greatest treasures i own....

i love presenting my collar to Him. It is a vow of trust, of love. Down on my knees, looking up at Him, holding the very thing that binds us as Dom, and sub. It is a very liberating feeling. When He puts it around my neck, and hooks me in, i become his littlemiss, and everything in the world just melts away. He takes hold of my will, and i very gladly give it to him.

Property of The Big Bad... i have noticed that when i go out, i walk taller, my smile is bigger, and i feel good about myself. Sir asked me the other day, if i liked being collared. And i didn't know exactly how to answer him. I looked at him, and all i could say was "yes... very much"

It may not look like much of anything at all, and this nights session wasn't really about pain too much. Even though i got belted. i have to smile at my bruises that are still there, from a week ago... *grin*

mmmm... perfectly round supple warmed bottom.... belted and cropped. *shudders with pleasure*

This picture is a bit humiliating... never have i been put on display like this.......

Thank you Sir! You alone have shown me my potential, and made me see who i can be. i am a better person because of you... i love you... *hearts*

a few words of discouragement...

i know i don't usually write in my blog, for it is a photo log of my spankings, so both Sir, and i can keep track. But there is something that is on my mind tonight that pertains to the pair of us.

Let me first say, that when Sir started taking pictures, he told me that i was to start a log of my spankings. How long, with what... etc etc... I had seen one from over his shoulder, online, so i figured i could make Him proud by putting myself on display for any, and all to see. And i know i make Him extremely proud, because He is constantly sending people to see it... and it makes me smile to know that He is proud to show me off.

Well when i got home this evening, he had told me that one of the subs on the chat that we regular yelled at him, because apparently my blog is the exact same as hers. Needless to say, i was horrified. What i put on my blog, is of my own testimonials, thoughts and feelings about spanking as a whole. And i guess she said that the pictures were the same... well *duh* how many ways can one display a warmed red ass?! i am proud of who i am, that i have somebody that cares for me enough, to give me the things that i want, and need.

It seems that it is an ongoing theme with me. i share something, or Him, and somebody gets all 'holier than though', or all high and mighty because "He doesn't know what He's doing", or because we "don't have the right kind of relationship" This has happened twice before. Either out of jealousy, or because i didn't hold out on my end of the bargain... i am so tired, of people judging U/us! If you have the address to this sight, it is because one of us thought you were mature enough to view, and knew what you were getting into, and not judge.

Again i do appologize for my lack of pictures tonight... but i really needed to get off my mind... thank you for understanding... ~tlm{TBB}

From this day forth...

Thursday October 11, 2007

"I promise to be fair, and never harm you. I promise to be benevolent, in my spankings. I promise you the pain that you need, and the passion that you want..."

"i promise to give myself to you freely, whenever you ask, and even when you don't. i will be bound to you for the rest of my days... i love you... "

Words spoken tonight at my collaring ceremony. *smile* Sir and i had done it before, when we started our M/s relationship almost 6 years ago... but we were young, and naiive, and the collar was of questionable quality. However, we both knew the this time how serious being collared actually is. And this time, i gave myself to him safely, sanely, and consentually.

Never again will i have to wear a ribbon around my neck to prove ownership. This is the last time you will see me with it... *kisses ribbon* you have treated me well...

The tears that you see, are not from pain. The tears that you see, are from the joy that i have that Sir loves me enough to claim me. To call me His own... To be able to trust Him that much, that i can give myself to him, body mind and soul. It is beautiful...

As it says: Collared with Love October 11, 2007

Tonights session didn't even last 10 minutes i am certain... He shaved me, and right out of the tub, He took me to the bedroom. So my bottom was still wet. And the sting was pretty phenominal...

Sir always lays out all of the implements, even if they aren't going to be used. The things to my right were. This looks like all of the other pictures that i have however, my collar, acting as a second wedding ring, is tightly around my neck... <3>

The two things that Sir loves to use the most... i think the paddle is His favorite, and His braided belt is mine... i smile everytime he gets ready for work, because he started wearing it to work. He told me tonight, that he thinks about me everytime he touches it... again i smile.

Sir, you have made me the happiest girl in the world this day. Today i have given you something that will be nobody else's. i have given you my will. Thank you... i love you with all that i am, and can exist because all that you have made me. i love you... <3

Thank you Sir, may i have another?

i am pleased to say, that my post today, is much better than the last one. Even as i type, i am sitting on a STILL very sore bottom. Let me show you why...

Tuesday October 2, 2007
This night, i asked Sir for special attention. i have been extremely depressed, and thinking about things that i have no control over. The night before, i was in quite the mood, and i felt really bad about it. So this day, i got up at 7 with our daughter, and cleaned the whole house, and made a wonderful dinner to make up for it. Even though i didn't feel any better... If you look to my right, you can see my new favorite implement... <3>

This session lesson lasted more than an hour. Sir spanked me with his hand at first. Then i recieved a special treat. i recieved a braided leather belt, and my ever loving crop on top of that. i don't know how many of anything else i got, but i recieved 33 swats with the belt.

As you can probably tell, i really needed to cry this session. i pushed myself WAY over my limit. When i usually would call "yellow", i was still going green. Sir told me he was very proud of me this time. And i am very proud of him, too. We were both stronger than usual.

These are pictures that i can be proud of. Very unlike the last ones i posted. Sir was very proud of me too...

This is the hardest that i have ever been spanked in my entire life. But it was VERY needed, and VERY wanted. And it makes me smile a little, to know that i can take it.

You can see the welts already starting to form... which will later become bruises.

Aah, the beautiful marks, that i have to hide underneath my clothes...

i smile everytime i have to sit down in public, and i feel that pain. It is kind of like a trophy that i have won, but only Sir and i know about it.

The sting of my spankings, always goes away way too fast... but bruising i can hold onto... Sir always asks if i like them. And i have never been able to lie to Him. So i honestly tell him yes... [Sir, now you know why]

Thank you, Sir... i love you with every fiber of my being... anything you want... it's yours....

i like to earn my oil

Lately, i have been horribly depressed. And there is really only one way sometimes to make me cry....

Sunday September 30, 2007

This session, i needed so much more than Sir gave me... and i am so ashamed, it doesn't even look like he swatted me at all... but the session lasted for about an hour, and recieved his hand at first, then got the paddle. Sir was going to stop after that, but i told him that i was really hoping for the crop that night. So he was glad that i told him.

If you look really hard, you can see the individual crop marks. And i still have bruises from the belt...

i must admit, there is no feeling like being bent over with a warm bottom, holding the implement that was lovingly used to warm it... even if it doesn't look like much...

Thank you Sir... hopefully pictures will be better next time... i'm sorry.. i love you

So i couldn't sit right for a while...

i know, i haven't updated in a few days... Sir and i have been a bit busy with various things, and he understands... however, just because i haven't updated, doesn't mean my bottom has been cold, and untouched... quite the contrary.

Wednesday September 26, 2007

As you can see, there are bruises on my bottom from the belting that i had recieved two days prior. you can't see it, but they are raised a good deal above the surface of my skin, making it a bit difficult to sit right.

i know this picture has nothing to do with my bottom, or even spanking in general. Sir tells me all the time that he is very proud of me... i hope my ribbon will soon be replaced by a new collar...

As you can see, i am smiling. This particular session didn't last as long as some of the others, nor was it anywhere near as brutal. i did cry however just because i got Sir's hand over my bruising, which tends to smart quite a bit.

i am not a bragger, in the least, but i think i realize why Sir is so proud of me... taking a hard spanking, and can still smile, and fuck him after... were i my Domme, i would be proud of me too...

Thursday September 27, 2007

This day, Sir didn't want me to think that i was going to go too long without a red bottom, because even as much it is for the cleansing of my emotion, i can enjoy it a great deal as well.

i do not recall how long this session lasted, or how many swats i recieved. But i do know that i revieved quite a bit of the paddle. Sir always pushes me to the limit, and when i think i can take no more, he asks if i can go for a little more. i have yet to tell him no. Even though i cried this time, i was pleasantly surprised by what i was able to take...

i like these two pictures, they turned out really well. the heat eminates off of my bottom, like the fire that it felt like. And it was wonderful!

Thank you Sir, for all that you do for me. i love you with my entire being. i love you

some teary rememberances

Sunday September 23,2007

This night, was pretty much a routine spanking. Mostly with the hand. It was a 45 minute session, and i took more than 100 swats. i lost count somewhere after that... Sir always goes so fast, and my head is usually spinning...

my bottom is very sore in this picture. i still had bruises from the night before. the cool air from the air conditioner running over my freshly spanked skin, made it burn even more.

i am totally, and completely at Sir's mercy. He owns me, body, mind, soul, and will.

Tears are still falling down my face. But i am free... i have never felt so liberated.... and i love him so much for it.

Sir loves this picture. He tells me that even though he can see the pain, he can also see the love that i have for him...

Monday September 24, 2007

There are no pictures for tonight... Sir really didn't even want me to post anything for tonight... But it was done, so i need to post it...

i have been thinking a lot about our tragedy, which i care not to discuss. i was extremely sad, and very envious of some of my friends that are pregnant, and others that have had no problems with pregnancy...

So Sir had me across his lap on the couch. And he knew that i needed something other than the usual. Well about 20 minutes into it, i yelled at him... i was ashamed as soon as i yelled. i couldn't even look at him. He took me to the bedroom, and told me that he knew that i was sorry. I appologized profusely... He also told me that he wasn't going to punish me, be i did owe his something for my disrespect. By this time, i was already bawling out of control. i didn't know how he could even look at me, much less touch me... but he told me again, that i did owe him something. He asked me if i could take ten with the belt. I was crying so hard at the shame, that i could only nod my head. i didn't think i could, but i did. i couldn't even count out loud... but i took all ten of them...

When Sir oiled my bottom, there were already welts forming, and they were already black and blue... i know i deserved them. And he forgave me... he held me for a long time after. Just telling me how much he loved me. And i know he does...

Thank you, Sir... i will do anything to please you...

I have never felt so alive

I am still trying to get caught up... hopefully, i will get all caught up before Sir comes home from work...

Thursday September 20, 2007

This night, i wouldn't rest until we found my beloved riding crop. Thankfully, it wasn't too hard to find. I was euphoric when i felt that first familiar sting. Befre Sir uses any of the impliments that i get spanked with, he makes me kiss it. i kiss my crop gladly.

Sir always lets me see the pictures, after we have finished. It may not look like much, but after this session, it was a bit difficult to sit.

"To: Sir, with love" Sir loves to mark me, in many ways. After the crop (which i will have to name), he gave me his ever loving hand.

This is my "red". We use the stoplight system. Periodically throughout the spanking, Sir will ask me "what color?"

Green: my pain isn't bad

Yellow: my pain is getting worse, but i can take more

Red: i can take no more, and need to stop

This particular session, i kept the tears in for as long as i could. i only teared a little for my crop. i tested my limits this night, and Sir was very proud of me. i love making him proud.

my Sire, my husband, my lover, and friend. What more could a sub ask for?

Saturday September 22, 2007

Today, i was not home all day. i missed him very much. i sent him a test message early in my day without him "*Dreaming of a red bottom*" When i got home, i took me to the bedroom, and this is what i found... This is the most romantic thing anybody has done for me. It warmed my heart, as he would soon do the same to my bottom.

Sir had me kneel down on a pillow, to be ribboned. It will have to due until my new collar comes in. i know what is ahead, and am very thankful. This is exactly what i had been missing. There had been something that i was longing for, and i had thought that i was doing something wrong in my lovemaking. But now, i no longer feel that way. i feel much closer to him. And i wouldn't trade him for the world.

As he lays me down with my the impliments of our trade, i can't help but smile. i can't wait for my bottom to be warmed.

This session lasted an hour. i recieved smacks with a dildo, my crop, his hand, the leather paddle, and the belt. i do not know how many smacks i recieved with anything but the belt. i always count how many i get with the belt. It was 10. i cried a lot this time. The paddle was more than i remembered...

"Bend over and grab your ankles little miss!"

"Yes Sir.. " i am still sobbing quite a bit, and shaking as well. my bottom is still very sore.

Thank you very much Sir... i have never felt so alive...