i am beautiful masochism

i know it has been a few days... but as i have said before, i like to wait for two days spankings to post... so without any further adieu...

Thursday October 18, 2007

This session, was really more "for the fun of it" thank anything else... There was really nothing that i had on my mind that needed to be relieved... and sometimes i just need a spanking for the excitement of a spanking. Simple as that.

This night the session only lasted about half an hour. Just because it was not about tears, or the pain of it. Just to get me a little warm. There was added excitement, as we used a bit of light bondage. (Sir won't tell you, but he is horrible with rope. Which is why i have cuffs on my wishlist... )

As you can see, i am "bound to please" There is no greater feeling than knowing that Sir could leave me alone, bound and to my own devices. Which he did. He tied my hands, and feet to gether, and inserted my favorite vibrator, and LEFT THE ROOM!!! i smiled because i had mentioned this as a punishment for somebody else... and He turned it on me... He wasn't gone for long, but just the fact that he could have left me alone for hours... i felt so helpless... there was absolutely nothing that i could do... but it was very exciting.

CWL (collared with love) is what is written on my wrist. Earlier that day W/we had gone to see Sir's father for dinner. and my collar, as much as i love to wear it in public, is not appropriate for the in-laws to view. oh that rememinds me...

i really wish the general public would know a collar when they see one... it is not a 'necklace' it is not dainty, nor is it for decoration (even though it matches everything i own). It is there to prove ownership, and i wear it to please him... grrr... ok i am done...

Sunday, October 21 2007

This nights session was very severe, although only lasted for 45 minutes. i really needed a hard spanking this time, and i don't really understand why. i needed tears, and pain... i needed to HURT. i have been a little off lately, a little sad, a little scared...

This nights session, i recieved quite a hard spanking, even though the session only lasted 45 minutes. Thirty one with the belt, along with a very hard handspanking, and the crop. There are times that when i am being spanked, that is the only thing that is real to me, is that sting. That amongst all the black, for a moment there is a flash of red, that later becomes shades of bruise. The rest of the world could fall down around me, as long as i can feel that sting, i am invincible. i am ALIVE.

i love pictures like these... Sir's hand, over my warm red, bottom. He has started this thing, where He puts his wedding band on my finger so it doesn't get lost... which is why it isn't on His finger.

Sir also, when we are in the midst of the passion, that is an inevitability to follow my spankings, where he will scrape his finger nails over my welts and bruising, that just makes the experience so much more exhuburent.

i guess this session proved to me, that my masochism is not something that i can run away from. It isn't something that i can go to a shrink and talk about to make it go away. i can't bottle it up, and pretend that it doesn't exist. Am i an addict? i suppose i am. But the only way that i know to feel better. is to stoicly take a severe beating, and then be held by Sir, while i cry on his shoulder and he tells me that i am His good little girl. That i am so obediant, and He is so very proud of me, for growing like i have been, and taking what He gives me...

Thank you Sir, for all that You give me... i feel sometimes like i ask for too much, but you give it all to me... i love you... <3

Ok, so i usually wait for two session to post. But it has been a while since i posted anything of value. (well besides my major one *grin*) so i figured that i would post... happy viewing. ~tlm{TBB}

Monday October 15, 2007

i love presenting my collar for Him. i do it happily, and with love and respect. And i know i get the same in return. Before Sir puts it on, like many of the implements we use, He presents it to me to kiss. Even when i am home alone, and wear it around the house, i kiss it with as much love as if it were Sir himself. This is one of the greatest treasures i own....

i love presenting my collar to Him. It is a vow of trust, of love. Down on my knees, looking up at Him, holding the very thing that binds us as Dom, and sub. It is a very liberating feeling. When He puts it around my neck, and hooks me in, i become his littlemiss, and everything in the world just melts away. He takes hold of my will, and i very gladly give it to him.

Property of The Big Bad... i have noticed that when i go out, i walk taller, my smile is bigger, and i feel good about myself. Sir asked me the other day, if i liked being collared. And i didn't know exactly how to answer him. I looked at him, and all i could say was "yes... very much"

It may not look like much of anything at all, and this nights session wasn't really about pain too much. Even though i got belted. i have to smile at my bruises that are still there, from a week ago... *grin*

mmmm... perfectly round supple warmed bottom.... belted and cropped. *shudders with pleasure*

This picture is a bit humiliating... never have i been put on display like this.......

Thank you Sir! You alone have shown me my potential, and made me see who i can be. i am a better person because of you... i love you... *hearts*

a few words of discouragement...

i know i don't usually write in my blog, for it is a photo log of my spankings, so both Sir, and i can keep track. But there is something that is on my mind tonight that pertains to the pair of us.

Let me first say, that when Sir started taking pictures, he told me that i was to start a log of my spankings. How long, with what... etc etc... I had seen one from over his shoulder, online, so i figured i could make Him proud by putting myself on display for any, and all to see. And i know i make Him extremely proud, because He is constantly sending people to see it... and it makes me smile to know that He is proud to show me off.

Well when i got home this evening, he had told me that one of the subs on the chat that we regular yelled at him, because apparently my blog is the exact same as hers. Needless to say, i was horrified. What i put on my blog, is of my own testimonials, thoughts and feelings about spanking as a whole. And i guess she said that the pictures were the same... well *duh* how many ways can one display a warmed red ass?! i am proud of who i am, that i have somebody that cares for me enough, to give me the things that i want, and need.

It seems that it is an ongoing theme with me. i share something, or Him, and somebody gets all 'holier than though', or all high and mighty because "He doesn't know what He's doing", or because we "don't have the right kind of relationship" This has happened twice before. Either out of jealousy, or because i didn't hold out on my end of the bargain... i am so tired, of people judging U/us! If you have the address to this sight, it is because one of us thought you were mature enough to view, and knew what you were getting into, and not judge.

Again i do appologize for my lack of pictures tonight... but i really needed to get off my mind... thank you for understanding... ~tlm{TBB}

From this day forth...

Thursday October 11, 2007

"I promise to be fair, and never harm you. I promise to be benevolent, in my spankings. I promise you the pain that you need, and the passion that you want..."

"i promise to give myself to you freely, whenever you ask, and even when you don't. i will be bound to you for the rest of my days... i love you... "

Words spoken tonight at my collaring ceremony. *smile* Sir and i had done it before, when we started our M/s relationship almost 6 years ago... but we were young, and naiive, and the collar was of questionable quality. However, we both knew the this time how serious being collared actually is. And this time, i gave myself to him safely, sanely, and consentually.

Never again will i have to wear a ribbon around my neck to prove ownership. This is the last time you will see me with it... *kisses ribbon* you have treated me well...

The tears that you see, are not from pain. The tears that you see, are from the joy that i have that Sir loves me enough to claim me. To call me His own... To be able to trust Him that much, that i can give myself to him, body mind and soul. It is beautiful...

As it says: Collared with Love October 11, 2007

Tonights session didn't even last 10 minutes i am certain... He shaved me, and right out of the tub, He took me to the bedroom. So my bottom was still wet. And the sting was pretty phenominal...

Sir always lays out all of the implements, even if they aren't going to be used. The things to my right were. This looks like all of the other pictures that i have however, my collar, acting as a second wedding ring, is tightly around my neck... <3>

The two things that Sir loves to use the most... i think the paddle is His favorite, and His braided belt is mine... i smile everytime he gets ready for work, because he started wearing it to work. He told me tonight, that he thinks about me everytime he touches it... again i smile.

Sir, you have made me the happiest girl in the world this day. Today i have given you something that will be nobody else's. i have given you my will. Thank you... i love you with all that i am, and can exist because all that you have made me. i love you... <3

Thank you Sir, may i have another?

i am pleased to say, that my post today, is much better than the last one. Even as i type, i am sitting on a STILL very sore bottom. Let me show you why...

Tuesday October 2, 2007
This night, i asked Sir for special attention. i have been extremely depressed, and thinking about things that i have no control over. The night before, i was in quite the mood, and i felt really bad about it. So this day, i got up at 7 with our daughter, and cleaned the whole house, and made a wonderful dinner to make up for it. Even though i didn't feel any better... If you look to my right, you can see my new favorite implement... <3>

This session lesson lasted more than an hour. Sir spanked me with his hand at first. Then i recieved a special treat. i recieved a braided leather belt, and my ever loving crop on top of that. i don't know how many of anything else i got, but i recieved 33 swats with the belt.

As you can probably tell, i really needed to cry this session. i pushed myself WAY over my limit. When i usually would call "yellow", i was still going green. Sir told me he was very proud of me this time. And i am very proud of him, too. We were both stronger than usual.

These are pictures that i can be proud of. Very unlike the last ones i posted. Sir was very proud of me too...

This is the hardest that i have ever been spanked in my entire life. But it was VERY needed, and VERY wanted. And it makes me smile a little, to know that i can take it.

You can see the welts already starting to form... which will later become bruises.

Aah, the beautiful marks, that i have to hide underneath my clothes...

i smile everytime i have to sit down in public, and i feel that pain. It is kind of like a trophy that i have won, but only Sir and i know about it.

The sting of my spankings, always goes away way too fast... but bruising i can hold onto... Sir always asks if i like them. And i have never been able to lie to Him. So i honestly tell him yes... [Sir, now you know why]

Thank you, Sir... i love you with every fiber of my being... anything you want... it's yours....

i like to earn my oil

Lately, i have been horribly depressed. And there is really only one way sometimes to make me cry....

Sunday September 30, 2007

This session, i needed so much more than Sir gave me... and i am so ashamed, it doesn't even look like he swatted me at all... but the session lasted for about an hour, and recieved his hand at first, then got the paddle. Sir was going to stop after that, but i told him that i was really hoping for the crop that night. So he was glad that i told him.

If you look really hard, you can see the individual crop marks. And i still have bruises from the belt...

i must admit, there is no feeling like being bent over with a warm bottom, holding the implement that was lovingly used to warm it... even if it doesn't look like much...

Thank you Sir... hopefully pictures will be better next time... i'm sorry.. i love you